My wife and I once watched a British detective show in which the senior police inspector regularly used the phrase “Christ on a bike!” to greet situations he interpreted as ridiculous, devoid of commonsense, and/or almost unimaginable.
Today, 16 March 2022, Americans may well have encountered a spectacle like those experienced by the Brit police inspector. Slightly after 9am this morning, Americans were treated to the sight of hundreds of U.S. representatives and senators crowded into an auditorium to listen to the wretched, seedy, and green-T-shirted Ukrainian president, Mr. Zelensky. This giant of European political history proceeded to demand that Biden’s government send NATO forces to save his country by fighting off the Russian military. Then, the ever-gracious Zelensky offered Biden an alternative, saying if the NATO cavalry would not saddle up, the United States must send its top-level weapons – especially anti-aircraft weapons – so the Ukrainian military can defend the country.
Zelensky also took the opportunity to try out his new comedy routine on America’s elected representatives, hoping he could get his message over their collective heads and that it would fool the idiot and criminal American voters who put Biden in power. With a tear in his eye and a catch in his throat – not a new experience given his performing career – Zelensky begged Americans to respond to his demands in the way the republic responded to Pearl Harbor and the 9/11 raid.
It seems that in comedians like Zelensky, the passion for laughs always shines through. Clearly, non-Democrat Americans know that the United States had to respond to Pearl Harbor by annihilating Imperial Japan. Those Americans also know that Franklin Roosevelt provoked Japan into the attack by applying sanctions that closed the country’s access to U.S. supplies of scrap metal, aviation fuel, other forms of petroleum, and militarily vital metal ores. As a clinching poke at Japan, FDR also froze Japan’s U.S.-based assets. As Obama and Biden knowingly provoked Russia into a Ukraine war, Roosevelt and his cronies knowingly provoked war with Japan, at last leaving Tokyo with only a Hobson’s choice between gradual economic catastrophe and a war in which its chances of winning hovered just above negligible.
And on issue of the 9/11 raid, ol’ Charlie Chaplin Zelensky hit it out of the park. Clinton and Bush-the-younger poked the bid-Laden-led Islamists in every way they could. By early 1998, Clinton had had at least ten chances to kill or capture bin Laden and did not take a single one. Thus it was Clinton who rolled out the red carpet to welcome the 9/11 raid. Bush and Cheney kept the red carpet fresh and fluffy by ignoring the Islamists, and then made the Islamists’ outstanding 9/11 success, and, with Obama and Biden, made that enemy-victory into an American shame-story by waging a 20-year war in Afghanistan that was never meant to be won, capping it off with a wow finish, with Biden rewarding the Taliban for defeating the U.S. with $85 billion dollars in first-class weaponry and 13 dead U.S. Marines.
Zelensky knows all of this. He knows you can’t kid a kidder, but he also knows a kidder can buffalo the war-loving likes of Biden and the Congress. Let’s hope he fails, but with that gang of losers, our soldier-children may yet again be headed “over there” to unnecessarily fight in a third European war since 1917.
Christ on a bike!
